Your College Student Is Home for Break and Struggling: What Parents Can Do

You've been looking forward to having them home. Then your college student walks in, and something feels off. They sleep until two, snap at small questions, stay glued to their phone, or seem flat in a way you can't name.

Some of this is normal. The first semester, and even later ones, can be exhausting. But break is also when many parents see for the first time that their child has been struggling while away.

What's normal after a semester away

It's typical for a student coming home to:

• Sleep a lot for the first few days, especially after finals
• Want more independence than they had in high school
• Spend time with old friends more than family
• Seem irritable while adjusting to house rules again

These usually ease within a week or so.

Signs worth paying attention to

Reach out for help, or at least start a conversation, if you notice:

• Withdrawal that doesn't lift: staying in their room, avoiding friends they used to love
• Talk of failing classes, dropping out, or dreading going back
• Big changes in eating, weight, or exercise
• Heavier drinking or substance use than you expected
• Hopelessness, or comments like "what's the point"
• Panic attacks or anxiety that keeps them from doing things

If your child talks about suicide or not wanting to be alive, take it seriously right away. Call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or go to the nearest emergency room.

How to start the conversation

Young adults often shut down when they feel managed. A few things that tend to help:

• Pick a low-pressure moment. Car rides and walks work better than sit-down talks.
• Lead with what you've noticed, not a conclusion. "You've seemed really tired since you got home. How's this semester actually been?"
• Listen more than you fix. Resist the urge to problem-solve right away.
• Normalize getting help. Many students see a therapist. It's a sign of maturity, not failure.

Why break is a good time to start therapy

Winter break gives students time to begin therapy without the pressure of classes. Many continue online once they return to school, which keeps the relationship going through the spring semester.

If your student attends school in Pennsylvania, they can keep meeting with the same therapist by video. For schools in other states, we can help them connect with campus counseling or a local provider.

You don't have to figure this out alone

It's hard to watch your child struggle and not know how much to step in. A therapist can help your student directly, and can also help you think through how to support them without pushing them away.